Y’see, the monkeys, while smoking dope, set the stash on fire. They’d have gotten away with it had the crow not squawked.
At first, the cops had accused the octogenarian animal trainer, whose whole life had been spent backstage at the theater, training petulant monkeys, arrogant cats, and clueless dogs.
Only when he was cleared after a negative drug test, blood taken from him, of course, against his screaming, ranting, spittle-flying denials and “it were the chimps” accusations, did the cops consider testing the simian triumvirate, who sat eerily quiet in a corner of their cell, eyes slowly scanning, taking everything in as if plotting an escape or an alibi.
Strangely, possibly because they recognized the weakness of their position (the cops thought the monkeys only smelled of pot because they were in the same room as the burning bush), the monkeys showed no reaction as the crow rap-rapped on the chief detective’s door and whispered, knowing the chimps would trust him nevermore, “The three monkeys did it,” much to the surprise of the detective, who really did not know the poisoned blood between the Mensa-genuis crow and the criminally-genius chief chimp, who always managed to upstage the black bird in humiliating, feather ruffling acts of random violence.
Over and over, the crow, who believed with all his heart in the redemption of curséd souls, had hoped for a different and more trusting relationship with the criminal and his two hench-chimps, like when all four of them set up a plot to get rid of the 80 year-old naked primate, only to be caught red-clawed, the chimps innocently pointing at the crow, beak to the dials of the trailer propane stove.
Now, smug, the stool-crow was released, his deception successful, the chimps mute, not being able to tell the cops that, while, yes, they had indeed enjoyed the happiness induced by the dope, they had been duped by the crow into lighting the stash as part of an alleged plot to discredit the trainer once more. Only this time the crow flew to the fire alarm and then played the innocent.
The old trainer, for his part, was quite pleased to be rid of the three evil primates and, also, of the crow he had dearly bartered for years ago in hopes that the species’ famed intelligence and craftiness would bring down the chimps once and for all.
– 17feb10
